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June 5, 2009

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The world feels a little duller…

June 4, 2009

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Bye bye Danny La Rue. I loved “Life is a Drag”
Bye Bye Koko Taylor. You recorded my favorite version of “Nothing Takes the Place of You”.

It’s the little things…

June 3, 2009

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Doing laundry makes me turn out my pockets. Turning out my pockets reveals micro-clutter, the scraps that I don’t take the trouble to shift from pant to pant, the dribs and drabs that I unconsciously accrue.

The stuff that truly drives me nuts.

Here’s one culprit: drinking straw wrappers. I am forever finding these rolled pellets of paper about my person. If I don’t catch them before the wash, they emerge as paper mache’ rabbit turds. Or i find them as I’m out walking around, trying to get change out of my pocket. Why is it that they anger me so? Perhaps because they represent a problem that I never seem to be able to solve. I like cold drinks and I like to drink them through a straw. Straws have wrappers that must be removed. One solution is to tear one end of the wrapper and use the rest as a projectile, blowing it at someone else. But I hate to litter. I still feel responsible for the wrapper. The six-year-old’s solution doesn’t work for me. So I pick it up and roll it tight and then look around for some place to dispose of it. In New York, the problem is compounded by the fact that many garbage cans on the street are open mesh types, meaning that I can’t throw something as small at a rolled wrapper in there, because it would just pass through. It’s at that point, while I wait to find an enclosed receptacle, that I often forget that I still have to deal with the wrapper. When my fingers come across it later, I’m annoyed and dissapointed. It’s like finding out that I forgot to pay my phone bill: a responsibility deferred.

Somehow, when it comes to questions like what am I doing with my life, my sang froid remains intact. But when I ask “what am I going to do with this little strip of paper”, I’m trapped in an emotional vortex.

The void and why it’s needed…

June 2, 2009

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Creativity requires a void. There has to be something missing for us to want to see something new. When life is two replete, where there is no blank wall, no empty space, the urge to make anew flags and ultimately stops.

Early on in your career, you’ve made no mark on the world, it all feels blank, awaiting your voice. As time goes on it can feel crowded, choked with all too much stuff, or a comfortable, affirming mirror. Neither possibility leads to working.

The abundance of infostractions dumped in my lap by my computer keeps me from feeling what I need to be working towards in the studio. Click by click I move away from the unquiet thoughts of my own lack that prod my arm to move the pen across the page. I know so much about so many things that ungraspable, shifting bits. Why do I like to see where a show of mine is going to happen? So that I can begin to play with that blank wall in my mind. It’s something to push against, so cozy up to or to reveal in an unexpected configuration. I have to make that something happen in my workspace if I hope to get anything done. I need to see a box to put the thing in.

Rodents is rodents….

June 1, 2009

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Typing at Cosi. Quiet strolling through Brooklyn has given way to the crush of post-work Union Square. Their coffee is never as good as I remember it. Spent a little time in Forbidden Planet, which has greatly expanded their independent/zine comic section. I’m struck by how much intriguing self published stuff there is out there right now.Didn’t buy a whole lot however, given what my finances are like and also the fact that while I want to support their efforts I’d also like to direct some money to smaller stores like Bergen Street Comics which provide more direct support to the artists.

I also spent the earlier part of today adding some things to the WordPress blog including this scan and a couple of links. Of special note is the one to the blog of the Annandale Dream Gazette, an enterprise initiated by poet Lynn Behrendt. Lynn and I were roommates for a couple of years while I was a Bard, and the gazette has an illustrious list of dreamer/contributers.

Because it’s a Monday afternoon and because I’m in Union Square, it’s hard not to fall into my reflexive, post therapy frame of mind. After all, I spent some ten years coming to weekly sessions in this neighborhood. I wonder what my therapist would say if I was telling him about my current situation and frame of mind. Probably something about the extent to which I castigate myself. Ugh, this chair is very stingy with the back support. And now I have a hankering for some fruit. Maybe it’s time to head off to the greenmarket.

See how avoidance works?

Splish Splash….

May 31, 2009

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So chef2b has been in town and yesterday he, I, his friend Karen, and Lolitasir took ourselves off to five hours of liquid satisfaction at Spa Castle. Bliss is a well placed jet of water. If you’re a New York resident or planning a visit, make your host take you there: it’s like a civilized water park with immaculate saunas and a decent food court thrown in. You can get baked eggs. One note though: bring a change of clothes, because you end up so clean that putting your old duds on at the end of it can be a bit of a let down.

We also had two fantastic meals: before we submerged ourselves we had a very civilized brunch with Thornyc at good. And on the way home we joined jd_trouble and redhead_sue at SriPraPhai (sorry Dan, I know we should have called you), which has expanded and remodeled and yet was still as delicious as ever. Then J was so very kind as to offer Mike and I a ride back to my place, where a not too disgruntled Lehigh awaited her evening walk. There was a little canoodling, and then the Sandman showed up for a three-way.

You could say I was satisfied.

Hooray for visitors…

May 30, 2009

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Especially hot ones!

Pop culture gives me what I want…

May 29, 2009

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These days, there are two billboard images that give me that special warm feeling down below to the point that I’ve bean developing a couple of crushlets.

Firstly, I’m not much into medical play, but I’ve been hypnotized by the above picture of sneering butch medi-dommme Edie Falco in her new series. Since I don’t have Showtime, I’ll have to just content myself with sighing every time I pass the shot from the campaign, Like I did yesterday when a double decker buss passed by with Edie’s steely blondness shrinkwrapped around it, two stories tall.

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Secondly, I’m spending time on the subway wishing I was the guy who gave Zach Galifianakis that sexy shiner and then stole his pants. Just so I could be the one he came staggering up to to make it all better. I’ll admit to indulging in dirty thoughts about him since I saw him as The Snuggler on Tim and Eric Awesome Show. He just looks so pretty hurt.

Luckily I have a guest this weekend, so all this excess energy has somewhere to go!

I’ve been filing…

May 28, 2009

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…like someone who likes to file.

It took almost two months, but I’ve managed to get my work desk from this to the state you see above. And that doesn’t mean that I just shoved the stacks off camera, either: with some stellar assistance fomr someone here in the office, I’ve managed to break the files down into manageable bits and set up a system that I think will be much more useful to me over the next years.

And today, Mom dropped by the office with Rhubarb bread pudding that my sister made. How cool are they?

Meet and Meet again…

May 27, 2009

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It’s one of those meeting days at work, where we’re going from one long meeting to the next. In between I have the attention span of a gnat. At least my desk is getting closer to being cleaned off and the file system on my computer is more in order. Every few minutes I pic something off the desk and file it or toss it away. And then I click on one of the tabs on my browser and waste more time. Then I cone back to this page and type another sentence. Like that last one.

All of this feels far from working in the studio. And while I’ve been making small steps in that direction, there’s a lot of distance yet to travel.

After a glowing weekend, the chill has come over the weather here: a bit rainy and about twenty degrees cooler.